Most important of all, you must sincerely love each other, because love wipes away many sin. 1Peter 4:8

Recently I copied this from one of the many links that I have on my FB and the comment that I left with it had to do with forgiveness. After replying to a couple replies, I began to think about what God has been laying on my heart these past few days about sharing what has occurred within my marriage. Love. Forgiveness. Jesus.

It’s been almost four years since I met my husband Chadd Cook. And I can honestly tell you that it has been a hard, painful, and rough four years. We met on May 8^, 2008, married December 7, 2009. August 31, 2010 the thoughts of divorce entered my mind, and haven’t left until just recently. Like within the month recent. The other morning while thinking about where we are within our relationship compared to where we have been the majority of it I told him that I thought we were going to be ok. I said you and Lauren started out laughing, and ended up fighting. We started out fighting and we’ve ended up laughing.

It’s not the normal circumstances to recall the first few years of a relationship in this manner, but Chadd and I are anything but normal. And I love that about us. I love that he doesn’t think I’m crazy…even though this poor man has every reason in the world to think I am. But instead, he thinks I’m the smartest, bravest, strongest, most loving, and unique women he’s ever met.

And you know what because of the way he has loved me, and allowed his love to cover the multitude of sins I’ve caused within our marriage. I’m starting to believe in myself the way he has always seen me. He has loved me the way Jesus has loved me and all I ever had to do was open my eyes and heart to see that, and accept it.

Over the next few months I will be asking God to give me the words and encouragement to share with you all that has occurred within our marriage. The reason I want to do this is because this is who I am. This is what and why I want to write. Not to brag about my life, because as you will see my life is anything worth bragging about. No, I do this because it brings me pure Christ like joy to encourage another with the testimony of what God has done in my life. The only way I know to do that is to be brutally honest about all that has occurred. I know there are others out there who love their husbands and want to do nothing more but love and respect them, not out of obligation either. That is what I hope to get rid of; the feeling of respecting your husband out of obligation. Yes, we are called to respect them, but the secret that I keep unveiling is once you do the FIRST most important commandment (which is to LOVE GOD with ALL YOUR MIND, HEART, AND STRENGTH) then everything else falls into place. Once I love God completely, again not out of obligation. Then and only then am I able to see my husband the way God does. Then, and only then am I able to see that he is exactly who I need in order to experience the Love of God. He’s not always who I want, but he is always what God knew I needed.

My prayer is that today you and I will look up and thank God for all that He has already done within our lives. And ask that He continues to refine us, and for us to be able to embrace this refining knowing that we are exactly where and who God wants us to be. That nothing comes as a surprise to Him, and NOTHING done within this world is wasted….unless we choose to waste it.

Thank you Chadd for loving me through the ugly days. Thank you for holding me through the great ones. And thank you for showing me what it means to truly love someone who doesn’t deserve to be loved. You are and always will be exactly who God designed for me at this exact moment in my life. I love you!

FEAR IS A LIE…..

The video above ties in so beautifully with the messages [below] I receieved through other vessels used by God to remind me, that FEAR IS A LIE! Enjoy!

Fear is Evil

Have no fear. Fear is evil and “perfect Love casts out fear.” There is no room for fear in the heart in which I dwell. Fear destroys Hope. It cannot exist where is Love is, or where Faith is. Fear is the curse of the world. Man is afraid–afraid pf poverty, afraid of loneliness, afraid of unemployment, afraid of sickness. Many, many are man’s fears. Nation is afraid of nation. Fear, fear, fear, everywhere. Fight fear as you would a plague. Turn it out of your lives and home. Fight it singly. Fight it together. Never inspire fear. It is an evil ally. Fear of punishment, fear of blame. No work that employs this enemy of Mine is work for Me. Banish it. There must be another and better way. Ask Me, and I will show it to you. – God Calling

Do We Live in Fear or Peace?
Most of us would probably argue that we would never trust the devil. But it might not occur to us that putting our faith in anoyone or anything besides God creates only symptomatic cures and is actually idolatry. An idol is anything you trust more than you trust God, or anything you have to check with before you say yes to God.

In my own life, I have struggled at times with the fear of death. If I have some negative physical symptom, I immediately go to the doctor to find out what is wrong and what can be done to help cure me. Let me clearly state that I am in no way opposed to seeing a Dr. when you are sick. Jesus Himself said that those who are sick need a physician (see Matthew 9:12). But after all the tests are run and the results are in, we still have to decide if we will trust God or man. It is so important that we do not confuse the facts with the truth.

Physicians, for example, are trained to giuve us the facts. It is their job to diagnose our conditions and identify the best treatment based on their training, experience, and the available informations. But the truth– what God says about a situations or condition- overides the facts. A doctor should never have the final wordm therefore, on our condition or treatment. We must always consult the Great Physician and be guided by His prognosis before we ever subject ourselves to the medical profession. We often fear the worst when we visit the Dr. or find ourselves in some other situation in which we feel powerless. The apostle john wrote, “There is no fear in love; but the perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love” (1 John 4:18). Think about it–Daddy is God and He made everything in the universe simply by speaking it into exstence, and He happens to love us enough to send His Son to die for us, then it stands to reason that worry is completely irrational!

Is it not true that all anxiety, fear and torment in a Christian’s life can be traced back to the fact that we have forgotten who we are and /whose we are? This brings us back to what we learned from the life of Nehemiah and the temptation of Christ in the wilderness. In both cases, the enemy’s devious strategy was to try to get them questioning who they were.

If you are dealing with anxiety, torment, fear, low self-esteem, depression or any other negative emotion, it is very likely they you have forgotten that the Creator of the universe LOVES YOU. Do not entertain the enemy’s questions about how valuable you are. As Pastor Bill Johnson says, ” Any thought that does not inspire hope is rooted in a lie.” Let’s stop believing lies! Let’s embrace the truth and live in peace.

From the book written by Kris Vallotton Spirit Wars (highly recommend)

DO SOMETHING!!

Reblogged from Kristy's Blog:

I just got done watching this incredibly moving and sad video about this wicked man named Kony that is from Uganda. I have heard of his army, but have never heard of him in particular. I know that he takes helpless children and turns the boys into child soldiers and the girls into sex slaves. He is the bottom of the barrel disgusting.

Read more… 1,034 more words

I dare you not to be inspired. :)

Jesus speaks and it’s DONE!

Jesus speaks and it’s DONE!

Earlier today I posted on my Facebook status that it will be 3 years since God radically transformed my life and took away my addiction to alcohol. Tonight during service Pastor Kedrick taught on John 4:43-54 and during his message he spoke those words above. I smiled as I thought about what I had posted only a few hours earlier thinking about the exact moment when Jesus spoke and changed my life.

It was May 1, 2009 roughly between 6:30-7:00pm. I was driving home on the turnpike having an arguement with God over me drinking that night with my very best friend. Obviously it was a one sided argument, as God just quietly listened to me throw a tantrum. I would go on and on about how it was ridiculious that my other friend didn’t want to ride with me if I had any drinks, knowing that I only planned on having a few beers which any alcoholic can tell you a few beers is like eating a single hershy kiss for desert. When I would say “what’s the big deal” I would then hear calmly “why do you have to drink”. Which would send me back into another fit of endless excuses as to why I wanted to drink. About 15-20 minutes into it a song called “Sissy’s song” came on the radio and I heard “You’re going to lose them if you do this” them being my children, right then I said “NO” and started bawling. I pleaded with God and told Him how sorry I was and chose to do the Red Bull thing instead.

Three years later I can proudly tell you that I have enjoyed one glass of wine with a friend of mine, almost let the enemy defeat me a couple others, but as the Word tells us there is no temptation too great that God does not give us a way out. Choosing to take it when it comes is the part we must choose to take. Except for those few times I have been alcohol free. And I used to drink every single day. Not just a glass or two. I would finish an entire large bottle of wine or 6 pack alone. I won’t even say how much I’d drink when I left the house.

I honestly had nothing to do with that radical transformation. I tried countless of times before to quit drinking and couldn’t. That day Jesus spoke to my heart, which at the moment was my children, and it was done. Gone. In an instant. Truly in an instant. The times when I almost slipped wasn’t because I craved the drink. It was because I hurt, and I wanted to hurt myself. The reason I wanted to write this blog is because I want people to know how powerful Jesus truly is. Nothing in my life ever gave me the inner peace that I now have. NOTHING!!!

I pray that you reading this have a personal relationship with Jesus, and have accepted the Gift of Grace God freely wants to GIVE you through this relationship with His Son. If you don’t and would like one, please message me and I would love to pray with you and possibly study Gods word together. If you’re not plugged into a church I know a GREAT one you can check out at www.getreallife.com let Jesus change your life like He’s changed mine.

~sometimes I just gotta write~

When I change who I am, I’m changing who God created me to be.

Last night Kayla went to bed upset because she tried to answer like Tristan because that seemed to make me happy. But she said when she does that it only gets me upset. I told her that I didn’t want her to be anyone other than her. Because when she changes who she is than she changes who God made her to be.

I knew later on those words would be lingering within my heart, and sure enough as I drover to wendy’s I said them to myself.

“He doesn’t want you to be like anyone else. He doesn’t want me to change who I am when I am experiencing Him within me and all around me.”

The lessons he uses the kids, mostly Kayla for me, leave me with a guilt because she has to suffer in order for me to see. However, it also causes the quickest response in repentance because I can’t bare to see my babies suffer any more hurt because of my sin. So today’s lesson for my Spirit to surrender to The Holy Spirit and let go of the fear that has kept me from being me.

xoxo

Hebrews 12:4

4 In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted
to the point of shedding your blood. Hebrews 12:4
We are proud, egotistical, boaster of
things of Christ, and yet we think we are righteous. I believe Americans do not
understand what this passage means. I hear of children being threatened to be
killed, kept from their families, and their freedom from this would be to deny
CHRIST as LORD. They refuse, the parents refuse. I have to be honest with you,
the ONLY way I could do this, was by Gods Holy Spirit completely controlling
every thought and action of my being, and sustaining control. Because the
moment I took over I would be telling them anything they wanted to be free;
convincing myself that God wouldn’t want me to die. Just like I justify that
God wouldn’t want me to stay in a marriage that had such destructive lows.
WHAT? LIE!

God knows exactly where I’m at and what I’m
going to do. He has already planned the day that I die just as He planned the
day I would arrive. The trials that we endure are so that we will be
transformed to reflect the image of His Son Jesus, which is the Image of God.
We are to become ONE with our Creator, Savior, and Holy Spirit once again. In
order to do this we have to be sifted, refined, renewed, and over and over
again until however long it takes to kill all that is us. We must become less
and He becomes MORE. He becomes ALL. We want to live a life FULLY devoted the
Lord, in ALL areas of your life. Remember he knows exactly where you are, and
he knows why. So no matter what you do daily, do it as if you were working for
the Lord, because if you are in Christ Jesus than this is the promise that you
made when you asked to be Gods child.

Be proud of Whose you are!

15 See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled;16 that no one is sexually immoral or unholy like Esau, who sold his birthright for a single meal.17 For you know that afterward, when he desired to inherit the blessing, he was rejected, for he found no chance to repent, though he sought it with tears.

 

Have you ever denied Christ because you were embarrassed by what someone might think? Or kept silent when you knew you were being prompted by the Holy Spirit to speak up. Not out of fear of you inabilities, but fear of another’s opinion. Well think about what is being said in verse 17 about the unholy act of Esau, who sold his birthright for a single meal. INSTANT GRATIFICATION! When reality hit of what he had just given away he sought after repentance with tears. This big manly man sought for a second chance and he was denied.

Why? Because he had no regards for his inheritance until it suited him. SELFISHNESS! Let us not be unholy and throw away what God has given us through the sacrifice of His Holy Blameless Son, because we’re more concerned about how someone who is equally filthy as we are. No, let us rise up and look upon the Throne of the Lord and acknowledge its Glory, it’s Majestic Beauty and sit in AWE of this Perfect, Powerful, Being that LOVES US COMPLETELY! Let us set standards daily, hourly, moment by moment that attempt to measure up to Him. Never will we ever get there, but every day you and I should be striving to live that blameless life that He looks at when He looks upon us through Jesus Christ.

JESUS IS GOD< JESUS IS THE POINT<JESUS IS THE ONLY WAY TO KNOW THE LORD, THE ONLY WAY THE LORD CAN AND WILL LOOK UPON US IS THROUGH THE IMAGE OF THE ONLY ONE WHO IS RIGHTEOUS ENOUGH TO BE GAZED UPON BY GOD, JESUS CHRIST. EMMANUEL!

How I find God within my darkness

“A little while, and you will see me no longer; and again a little while, you will see me.” John 16:16 ESV

Before you continue to read this please read John 16:16-24.

When I read this passage this morning my eyes noticed the red writing and my mind responded by reminding me these words are words spoken by Jesus. Hopefully you feel as I do when reading words spoken by Our Savior, a sense of alertness and respect. These words I have read before and knew them to be words He spoke to His disciples about The Holy Spirit coming to them following His ascension. Today my heart responded as I read these words. When this happens my mind no longer reads these words as a student, but as a child hearing words of wisdom from her beloved Father.

I’d like to share with you what He told me today, as well as explain how I came to believe this. I have come to believe that my heart will respond to Gods Word in this manner after a series of events have occurred so that I am able to have understanding, as well as healing. I believe completely that until I have gone through all that He requires I do these words will continue to be read as a student. This is not a bad thing. But the moment I am able to read His Word through eyes of a daughter, it becomes a beautiful thing.

Over a year ago I read a book by Gisella Yohannan called Broken for a Purpose. I had never read a book that spoke so directly to my heart like this one has. Her words brought me into a realization that God has never forgotten one single moment of my life. That every ounce of pain I believed had been forgotten was actually important to Him, and to prove this to me He gave me this book. I have recommended this book countless of times to women who also endure brokenness that goes unnoticed by others. If this is you and you have not read her words I strongly urge you to do so. Remember as you are reading them, God is talking to you and I pray you find healing and joy within them, just as I did.

The reason I mentioned this book is because of the truth I gained from this book is the Purpose behind all of my Brokenness. Just as vs 20 illustrates the pain of giving birth brings us – well pain. But the JOY that comes from holding our beautiful baby doesn’t make us forget the pain that we just endured; it gives it a purpose and worthiness for it. If you have more than one child then you cannot disagree with what I am saying. You knew you would endure pain and discomfort in order to bring this child into this world, and you still chose to do so. This means you knew it would all be worth it. This is what I gained from the words in her book. The worth behind all of our pain, all of our brokenness is not only worth it, but planned by God.
Jesus spoke the words in John 16:16 to His disciples, but also to you and me for today. When we are in the midst of this darkness that is when “A little while, and you will see me no longer;” was meant for, and when the purpose is revealed for the time of darkness, this is when “and again a little while, you will see me.” was meant.

Don’t you get it Jesus really does love us. He really does want us to have a place with Him in Gods glorious Kingdom, today and for Eternity. He really has begun a good work within us, and will continue to do so until His return. He really does want to present us to Our Father with a sense of worth for His scars and His pain endured upon that cross, so He too can say “Thank You Father for allowing me to endure the pain upon the cross for my beautiful gift Crystal.” This is why He has us go through these moments of darkness where we cannot feel his presence. In Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis describes an image of the Body of Christ as an illuminating light and our sin causes scars of darkness upon it. This illustration allows me to see those scars of darkness removed and Christs’ illuminating light bursting through…which brings me utter joy to be able to give back to Christ what He lost because of the sin I placed upon him.

When I began writing this my intention was to put into words what I had just gained through John 16:16-24. Now however I have this overwhelming need to place the importance upon the actions you must take in order to gain the insights that God has for YOU through His Holy Word. It’s not about what I have gained from it, but what He wants to tell YOU. Because each of us has our own personal relationship with God, Christ died for us individually, and The Holy Spirit lies within each of our own hearts teaching us our own individual truths. The reason my heart (which is where the Holy Spirit lives) was able to respond to this passage today was because of the actions I have taken, and experienced previously. In the past my pits of darkness were DARK, disturbingly dark, I want my life to end dark. Today the darkness isn’t as dark, I believe this is because of the time, effort, and dedication I have in learning all that there is to know about God and how I can mentally, emotionally, and spiritually maintain the presence of His Spirit within my life.
I am a God junkie! He has become my addiction and I can’t get enough of Him. So I read endless amount of writings about who God is, what He has done, and how I can know Him from others who have the gift of teaching. If you want to have that darkness become less dark, then take action in learning how to arm your heart and mind with knowledge about who God is and how He has helped healed others. I have to say this though, always take what you have read and compare their truth to the truths of God. Just as you would go to a dictionary to find the meaning of a word, this is what the Holy Bible does to the truths that others teach. Never take what someone teaches as the absolute truth, until you have seen that it lines up with His Holy word. This is how you can guard your heart from lies that destroy. I also encourage you to search deeper into these truths for yourself. As much as Gods word is universal, it is also individual. That’s why they say it is His Love Letter to US!

I haven’t gone back to proof read this so if it doesn’t make complete sense I apologize. But I pray that you have gained what you need to move closer to Gods truth for you.
~sometimes I just gotta write~

Gossiping…is it worth it?

 

 The link below is the devotional that inspired the comment to those on my FB page…and the continued writing.

http://lysaterkeurst.com/2011/10/cross-my-heart-and-close-my-mouth/

Do you Gossip? I can tell you more of you do than you don’t…and its got to STOP! Whether you’re mad at someone or not God commands us NOT to speak evil against our neighbours. We are no longer in high school, its time to grow up and stop thinking we’re better than someone else bc we don’t sin the way they have. I’m sorry but NO ONE, including myself can throw stones at ANYONE— so value your friendships by refraining from gossiping about someone when they’re taking time out of their life to spend with you. Let’s get back to the Main Thing which is bringing those to the Cross!!! I love all of you….wish you loved me the same by keeping my ears and heart pure from the toxicity of gossip!!! Trust me I don’t need any extra help sinning, I do just fine on my own.

Dear Friends,

Yesterday I wrote a post about gossiping, and as much as I stand behind what I wrote I feel as if I need to apologize to those of you who consider me a friend. See I am a writer, nothing professional, but still at heart I love to write. I don’t write about things that aren’t true, I write what my heart has either gone through or is currently going through. Typically I won’t or can’t write until there’s a mess load of situations that have basically overloaded in my head and I am in need of purging. I have plenty of journals and even more writings on my computers to attest to this.

But every now and then I will get the perfect devotional to trigger everything I have been trying to find a way to say it without hurting anyone’s feelings. Only today I feared I may have hurt a friend who would think this was solely about them. So I have to apologize to all of my friends who have shared anything with me that makes you think I am talking only to you. I can assure you my personal experiences are small compared to what I see happening around me in the lives of Faithful Christian women. Just bc I’m not in your conversation doesn’t mean my ears aren’t listening. See here’s a secret that only you will know about me….I actually care deeply about not wanting to hurt my friends. Their trust in me, means a GREAT deal. I take great honor in someone being able to trust me with their deepest secrets or feelings. It’s that good ole saying “Treat others how you want to be treated” I believe if I can be the friend that I desire in someone, I will get that friend in return.

There’s something that I have learned over the years though; having a friend that knows all your dirt leaves you feeling vunerable. Not many of us like to feel this way, myself included. Eventually over time if communication gets pulled back bc of insecure feelings ab this relationship, it’s only a matter of time before there is a disagreement that causes a major drift between the two of you. Let me just say from experience this time apart is not always a bad thing, it’s usually needed. What matters is how you spend your time thinking about this relationship. If you play the event over and over again (which for me is inevitible) you have to be careful not to maintain the anger or create more anger. Otherwise you could wind up losing someone very special, as well as creating a root of bitterness that can be very toxic to your happiness. Instead take sometime to detox from the situation. Once I can think ab the person without getting that anxious feeling within me that’s when I know I’m ready to do the hard part.

Ask myself if they were right. Bet you thought I was going to say forgive them. Forgiving someone is hard, but I have found that it’s harder to forgive someone when I’m hell bent on being right. So I need to know first if they were right. I will always think I am right, and anyone I choose to tell what happened will nine times out of ten agree with me. I mean we all know that’s why we told them to begin with, right?

Can I share another secret that I’ve realized over the years that helps with this self analyzation? You both have something to learn, change, and gain from this argument; and any other encounter you have with someone. We all have a purpose in this life, and we are all the star of our own lives. Therefore, nothing you do in life is wasted…unless you choose to waste it. Whether they were right or not doesn’t matter as much as that time you take exploring the possiblity. See I have found that we will all have a few profound relationships that stretch us to be more than we are. When you meet one of these people hold onto them with love and respect. Bc they are being used, just as much as you are in their lives, for a greater purpose. Even if the relationship ends painfully with betrayal or broken trust, at one point this person saw a part of you that made you love them, and they you. Honor THAT moment in your friendship, even when it ends. Bc it’s during those moments of pain when another person will out of no where come into your life, sometimes subtly without even knowing it they are picking up the pieces of your heart fumbling their way around trying to help mend it. How you speak about this past friendship will display a character trait about who you are as a friend.

Now please do not get me wrong, there are times when most of us can hear someone speaking with a broken heart and can blow it off as pure emotions. But there does come a point ladies (and men if any of you are reading this) when these emotions become toxic and begin to taint your other relationships. This is why negative gossip about past friends or someone you hardley know causes so much damage….not so much to the person you’re talking about, but more to you.

Without realizing it the constant talking about this situation or person, might cause the one listening to pull away. There are many reasons for this. They could simply be over hearing about the same old complaint or maybe they are fearful of investing in a friendship that could leave them on the other end of the coin. We all know that there has been a time when we’ve messed up in our friendships. Why then would someone want to chance messing up and being the one whose dirty laundry gets aired to anyone who will listen? Whether you are a Christian woman or not we all want to have good friends. The best way to get that is by always being a good friend, whether the relationship has ended or not.Ladies lets stop wasting time with yesterdays garbage and start living today for today. Let’s start pointing our fingers towards our own lives, thoughts, and hearts. Let’s be the friend we want to have…even when the friendship has ended. .

Summer Ramblings…..

Recently I came upon a devo about the Israelites’ wandering the desert and thought…I am lost in the desert…I don’t want to be…. I have dreams and passions and God has given me the experiences to last me 3 lifetimes….but most importantly He has used every area of my life as His Way to Witness to so many women and children…and possibly a few guys… There is freedom that comes within your soul when you accept who you are in Gods eyes. Even if who you are is the crazy, off the wall, highly emotional, sometimes delusional, born again (and again and again) Follower of Christ, Believer of all things Holy and Spiritual….even the things that no one ever wants to admit they believe. There’s a freedom that lies within yourself, waiting to be set free….sometimes we let her out test the waters…then throw her back into her box where we keep her hidden from the real world….because omgsh what would they think if you actually told them that they are wasting their time trying to play the part as a good Christian doing good Christian things….when clearly the things that they allow occupy their minds and days could matter less to the Holy God and the reason He chose you to live in this world at this day and age. Better yet what would they think if you read the bible for yourself and allowed God to actually teach you what He wants YOU to know through His word? Since being baptized in 2008 I have realized that the passion I had then was more Spirit driven then anything I have done recently. I am ashamed to admit that I cared more about my character and the integrity of my name before I chose to accept the honor of saying Jesus is my Savior. Who I am today is the exact opposite of everything that I stood for as a mother, woman, and worker. This reality has given me a feeling I always prayed I would never experience….and as heartbreaking as it is to endure continual death within my family and severed relationships that I chose for my children to know as family….the pain of admitting that my biggest fear of being a mother my daughter wanted to be nothing like had come true. This is a pill that I have swallowed and am not asking for others opinions of what kind of mother they think I am. I know who I was and who I am today….and I hate this person. The saddest part is I saw myself becoming this lazy, complaining, selfish hypocrite. I would hear the Spirit telling me that I knew better than to spend money we needed to save…or allow the video games entertain the kids a little bit longer so I can have me time. BUT….I didn’t want to grow up….I wanted ME time, and I still believe that ALL parents…especially stay at home mothers…NEED time when they are not a wife or a mother and they are able to remember that God called them to be His FIRST….everything else….YES Ladies EVERYTHING ELSE…EVEN your role as a wife….is pointless until the first is complete. Since I am on the role of the wife and husband I want to speak my opinion for a moment….(remember I said MY OPINION – Not what I read in my bible) So many men and women get so side tracked with “Leading the family” or “respecting her husband” that they lose sight of the #1 commandment which is LOVE GOD WITH ALL (not some) ALL your heart, mind, and soul. Funny little secret is when we take the time to REALLY Fall in Love with God and can realize just how madly in love He is with us…because let’s face it…we are AWESOME! I mean seriously….God made us in HIS IMAGE….so stop obsessing about looking perfect….God is so much MORE than looks…He is the beauty in everything…He is the amazing mystery of the nighttime sky…He is the waves crashing on the sea shore….He is also seen in our trees and birds….and all other creatures created by Him….No they weren’t made in His Image like we were….but they do describe a part of Him, which means our world and the animals in it…matter to Him because they are His description…His fingerprint per say that He left for us….and I don’t know about you but I am HUGE on going back through my old pictures or reading old letters…I could honestly get lost for hours going through my parents things…and my grandparents items. I see where I came from….well it’s the same thing with the world around us….the one that is becoming less and less green and more and more of empty houses with signs out front….or shopping malls that hold more crap that means nothing and gets us nowhere…. I had a major squirrel moment….so I’m basically going to end this reminding myself to remember who I am in Gods eyes…remember that I am not here to be treated like a princess…because I already have a home and it’s in the Spirit world with Christ Jesus and one day I pray I am able to see the God who saw strength in me that I still can’t fully believe I’m capable of pulling off. I love you Lord Jesus for living a life by faith and obedience…knowing you were here for a moment to complete a mission and the pain and isolation you must’ve felt daily is a blink of an eye when the reality of Heaven is like. Just like giving birth….not the best part of becoming a mother but worth it because it gives us our babies. Rise up a fire inside this house with Your Holy Spirit and Excitement for your Glory God. Written August 22, 2011 @ 4:23am