When we allow His light to shine on our lives, it changes our attitude towards everything. Yesterday for example. I went to bed after writing on my FB status “Great day…” then I laid down and thought how funny I thought today was a great day. My child support didn’t show up, leaving my account negative $300+ my husbands account negative $120, mom didnt get her foodstamps leaving no food in the pantry, car is back firing while the other is still in the shop w/no transmission, and my husband and I are staying in separate homes bc of us fighting. Yet I laid there smiling bc I still saw yesterday as a great day. God had used my day to encourage another…His light made my attitude change from worry and sadness to gratitude. There’s always going to be a reason the evil one can steal our happiness….its up to us to choose which attitude to take… Gods Truth or satans lies.

~sometimes I just gotta write~


Titus 3 – Ask your self….if you dare

Below I have two translations of Titus 3, I have highlighted in red the areas where I have been covicted and ask that you pray for and with me that I may be this woman that Christ deserves me to be. The blue highlighted area is where I would like to ask you to reply to….. are you someone that gets heated during debates about denominations? Do you avoid any such conversation? WHY? Is your way the only Way to Heaven?

Another question I have for you is, does this scripture convict you in other areas of your life? Can you, like I do read a passage and ask God to show you how this applies to your life?  Under the scriptures I will continue with how the red areas have convicted me……….hope this in some way encourages you.


NIV = Titus 3

Doing What is Good

 1Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good, 2to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and to show true humility toward all men. 

 3At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another. 4But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, 5he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, 6whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, 7so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life. 8This is a trustworthy saying. And I want you to stress these things, so that those who have trusted in God may be careful to devote themselves to doing what is good. These things are excellent and profitable for everyone. 

 9But avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and arguments and quarrels about the law, because these are unprofitable and useless. 10Warn a divisive person once, and then warn him a second time. After that, have nothing to do with him. 11You may be sure that such a man is warped and sinful; he is self-condemned. 

Titus 3 (The Message)

Titus 3

He Put Our Lives Together

 1-2Remind the people to respect the government and be law-abiding, always ready to lend a helping hand. No insults, no fights. God’s people should be bighearted and courteous. 

 3-8It wasn’t so long ago that we ourselves were stupid and stubborn, dupes of sin, ordered every which way by our glands, going around with a chip on our shoulder, hated and hating back. But when God, our kind and loving Savior God, stepped in, he saved us from all that. It was all his doing; we had nothing to do with it. He gave us a good bath, and we came out of it new people, washed inside and out by the Holy Spirit. Our Savior Jesus poured out new life so generously. God’s gift has restored our relationship with him and given us back our lives. And there’s more life to come—an eternity of life! You can count on this. 

 8-11I want you to put your foot down. Take a firm stand on these matters so that those who have put their trust in God will concentrate on the essentials that are good for everyone. Stay away from mindless, pointless quarreling over genealogies and fine print in the law code. That gets you nowhere. Warn a quarrelsome person once or twice, but then be done with him. It’s obvious that such a person is out of line, rebellious against God. By persisting in divisiveness he cuts himself off. 

My convictions: 

 to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good, 2to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and to show true humility toward all men.

All men(women)…yes wives/husbands this means to our husbands/wives as well. I recently have asked my husband to leave our home due to our constant quarreling. Not the healthly growing kind of quarreling either. This has turned back into the “go for the jugular” quarreling. Jesus tells us in Mark 9:42-50 That if there is a part of you that is causing you to sin, then cut it off…it is better to enter the kingdom of God with one eye then not at all. I have to take my salvation seriously, and if living in the same household as my husband is causing me to sin daily – then I have to cut it off. ***(Does this mean I immediately opt for divorce? NO! As Titus 3:10 states (as well as additional scripture) “Warn a quarrelsome person once or twice” not to mention that God HATES divorce. That is not why He created marriage. Please understand I am not saying divorce is not premissable, there are unfortunately times when a marriage has died in the eyes of the Lord, and personally I believe God releases us from this death. However, if you are asking others if they think you should get a divorce, then I have to tell you to STOP asking others what you should do in your marriage and go to GOD. Only He can release you from the union of marraige, IF that’s what He wants from you, than you will know it. He will make it crystal clear. That is how Our God works. He doesn’t try to play mind games with us, that is all flesh.)***  It has only been 24 hours since he has left our home, and after much needed one on one time with God, I have been able to see where I have not been humble toward all men. I am humble towards everyone else I come into contact with except the most intimate human relationship I am bound to have in this life, my husband. Sometimes we have to remove ourselves from a situation (cut it off) in order to ask God our part in the sin. I believe we typically have a part in the sin we have in our lives.

Friends, I am not trying to justify my temporary seperation from my husband. What I am trying to do is encourage those who suffer the same unequally yoked marriages that I do. Those that suffer with guilt, bc they have truly tried to live a Godly life as a spouse and have repeatedly failed. Take back your walk, take back your security with God and look at the things you can change in the situation. We are human….we will have trouble in this life….and there is nothing more that the evil one wants then to think we are inadequate to fight for Gods honor, in His Sons name. That we are not living the (dare I say it) “Christian life”.  

 Why have I admitted all this? Basically air my laundry to everyone that cares to look? Nt so that I can gain from it, but that you may be able to gain, grow, and teach from it. In a lot of leadership roles today we are afraid to “admit” how we royally mess up at times. We are “leaders” we are discipling other young Christians so we have a HUGE responsibilty in living a “Christian life”. Guess what….a “Christian life” is one that is filled, yes filled, with SIN.  

There I said it so you won’t have to. WE ARE ALL SINNERS IN NEED OF A SAVIOR! ALL OF US, leaders, pastors, elders, and I have to stress this new believers and young Christians NEED us to tell them our sin as well. They need to know that the storms that they are going through, we too have done, or are doing. This will help us to teach them to lean on one another. Not to withdraw from the church out of shame, but to come to each other and ask for prayer, guidance, and love….as well as help guide us through our own storms. We are never going to be beyond teaching, and if anyone thinks that they are….well I’m praying that you hear me when I tell you….YOU just might be the one that causes a young Christian to walk away.  

 This post has as most of my writings do, gotten off subject than orginally intended. What I hope the Holy Spirit has done is reached one person, and encouraged them in their walk. If that is you then thank you for allowing my hurt to help you!

God chose you, which means I choose you! Love you!

to wives…

I have to admit that even though many people have been hurt by my honesty, as I have been hurt by many others honesty. One thing that I will never deny is, if this ‘honesty’ was delivered by someone that has a grasp on who I am, where I’ve been, and cares about me, although if delivered horribly, I will still hear what it is they’re saying and of course pray about why it hurt so bad. Before I became a Christian I still would ask myself (more like interrogate) “Are they right?” If I don’t think they are….I’ll ask myself then…well what the heck happened then? Is it possible they have issues? Well, that one is easy YES…. 🙂 This observation however true still did not solve the problem or mend our relationship. Thus the interrogation begins.

My high school friends can attest to this when I say “I was (still am) highly emotional”. I’m pretty sure I still have some old notes that say just that. Back then my best of friends and I would have our on and off again moments. Some would last a day and others have lasted years. It is never easy to hear someone you love, someone you have trusted with your true self tell you there is something wrong with your actions, your way of thinking or even yourself. One thing that God gifted me with was the gift of interrogation. The determination to solve the issue, whatever it may be there has to be a solution and I am going to find it. Seems like a great gift doesn’t it? It is definitely one that keeps my mind going, and going, and going and well you get the picture. Seemingly we would all agree that finding a solution to a problem is a good thing. To quote C. S. Lewis “The most dangerous thing you can do is to take any one impulse of your own nature and set it up as the thing you ought to follow at all costs”

Let me try to explain how this fits into the point I am eventually going to get to. Earlier I wrote how God gave me a gift of interrogation. Imagine a movie you may have seen where there is a bad guy being interrogated by a police officer. There usually isn’t any unjust thoughts that come racing to your mind, we all are behind the officer and want the child abuser punished for what they have done. What about when there is an innocent person being interrogated by a crooked cop? Who then are we wanting to stand behind? Right, the innocent person. Now watching a movie it’s easy to know who is to be punished and who is to be let go. We get to see both sides of the story. In our own lives we all know the old saying “there are 3 sides to every story, his, hers and the Truth.” As I typed these last few lines, I chuckled inside because as a Christian I know that God is in all things. Do you see where He is in that sentence?

God is the only one that is able to solve any conflict. Yes, I know God can do all things, but this isn’t the point I am trying to make. I am trying to prove to myself mind you, that God is the only one that knows how to solve the problems that keep me up throughout the night, the ones that I can consume myself obsessing over trying to find a solution that leaves everyone either happy or equally upset. My divorce mediator said it perfectly when he warned my ex husband and I that the point of mediation wasn’t to make either of us happy and if we both equally come out unhappy then he did his job. Not something, a single struggling mother of two wants to hear from a man that is handling the outcome of her children’s financial future. On the other hand how fair would it have been if my ex-husband had been taken to the cleaners and began to resent our children because he couldn’t even afford to pay his bills?

I have over the years begun to look at conflicts from both points of views; no matter how the outcome is unfair to me I want to think about how this is going to effect tomorrow. Recently I had a short discussion with someone that repeated scripture to me about not worrying about tomorrow, because it’s already planned for us and God is in control. All very true, and helpful in so many areas of my life. However, remember what C. S. Lewis said not to take any one thing and make it an absolute. If we are so quick to react to something, or not react because we are not to ‘worry’ about tomorrow, we are then like the man that was waiting on the roof of his house in a flood waiting for God. Refusing the 3 people sent to rescue him standing firm in waiting for God to rescue him. When he is then standing before the Lord, he asks him ‘why didn’t you deliver?” God replies “I sent three people to help, you refused to do your part.”

God cannot do our work here on Earth for us, well cannot isn’t the correct word. He can do all things, but as any parent knows if you continue to clean up your kids toys over and over again they will never learn how to do this for themselves. In the same sense, we have to learn how to do the work it takes here on earth to secure our kingdom.  We are still required to do the work and plan out our actions according to scripture, and then wait patiently for the Lord to deliver. I think this is where we get things all screwy. I believe when people have to do the work, we expect to be able to decide what it is that we are working for. We forget that we are to do the work ‘according to scripture’ not according to our wants. When we do this we are then working with the Lord and then He happily delivers, but remember in His time, not Ours. Again, an area we forget over and over again. So often I forget that even though I am doing ABC. There are so many other letters in between before we can get to XYZ Even if I know what XYZ will be; it’s not up to me to get the other person there any quicker than God wants them to.

Although I absolutely love the gifts that the Lord has given me and revealed to me, I am just like any other child that is given too much too soon, I am ill-equipped to handle such gifts correctly. I fall victim to pride and use these gifts to belittle someone. Sometimes directly, other times manipulatively (which btw is the most damaging in the end). When we decide how someone should ‘learn their lesson’ or ‘grow up’ we then take on the roll that was never ours to begin with. We tell God that our way is better than His. We tell God that we appreciate his help, but we got it from here. This is especially common with wives. We are the only ones in this world that know our husbands ‘issues’ and if we don’t make them aware of them we will never be able to move on with our happiness, future, or (my shameful admission) our God given Purpose.

If you’re like me then you may have read all of the books that tell us to Respect our husbands and to lift them up. To ‘submit’ to our husbands…which many of you see that as an insult. Recently I was able to hear it in a way that either one needed to hear because I am such a prideful, independent woman, or because it is absolutely true. Submission was not commanded to wives so the man can ‘rule’ over us. Side note really think about it for just a second before I tell you what the author of “Is there a Hero in your Husband” clarified. God first created man to rule over the land and all that it possessed. The land, animals, and so on. Why would He create woman to rule over us as well? Is that the God that you worship weekly? A God that created you simply because man was bored ruling everything else? No, it clearly says in the same book you and I read daily and get our everyday lessons, motivations, and answers from. He created woman to ‘help’ man. We are their helpers, we are capable of running the house, an office and still make dinner for the family all while preparing for the next 3 weeks activities for the family. Not because we are better, but because we are to help the men rule everything else.

Now on to the submission she explained. We are to submit to the power we have in controlling our husbands. There’s a joke that I’m sure many of you have heard “The husband may be the head of the house, but the wife controls the neck” Well again God is in everything. When we as wives, that can pretty much do it all if we were put in a position (that so many single mothers out there are….) feel things are going astray our human instincts kick in and we turn the auto pilot off and get us back on course. Seems innocent, I mean we have our future to protect. We are ‘helping’ them, which is what the bible says we are created for. (Dare I repeat Lewis?) When we allow our instincts to rule the way we interpret Gods Word we are taking things yet again into our own hands and although it seems Godly, we are not doing the will of God.

Remember when I mentioned the kids cleaning up their toys? Well if we as wives, ‘help’ our families avoid disaster time after time what tends to happen each time is this: Our respect for our husbands chips away, we begin to think there is something wrong with him, why in the world did we marry this person that is incapable of taking care of this family let alone himself? Didn’t anyone teach him how to be a man?

Well here it is ladies….the honest truth that even I don’t want to type. NO, no one has taught him how to be a man because you have been too busy focusing on yourself and your own capabilities, your own wants, your own future to do what it is that you were brought together to do all along. Which is to “help’ our husbands, that admittedly still act as children, become men by submitting to the power we have and allowing them to learn through the mistakes we are terrified to allow them to make.

That fear of them screwing things up is not from God, He is not a God that wants His creations to live in a state of fear and insecurity. He is a God that has a plan for us, a plan for our marriages, a plan for our future, a plan for our children. He has told us repeatedly in scripture that we will endure troubles; we will have trials of hardships when we live our earthly lives fulfilling his purpose. What we forget is, He tells us that it will be hard and we might not even see the rewards in this life. Over and over again I say to myself that I am willing to do as Paul says and lose my life so that I may find it. And as much as my mind believes this I have yet to change my heart to this. I have given my life over to the Lord, but I haven’t given my marriage over to Him and I fear that if I don’t I may lose sight of His purpose for my life all together.

When I started this I had intended on writing about how pleased I am to read authors that have cut out the crap and said it like it was. Like most of my writings as of lately God had a different idea in store. So as I said sometimes it takes the ones that truly love us to say the hardest things. Thank you Lord, for using my writings to speak to me when my mind won’t shut up long enough to hear you. My life is as it always has been, Yours and daily I repent of my selfish desires and humbly beg for You to forgive me, strengthen me to forgive myself, to place me on solid rock and put a new song in my mouth.  Remind me how to Love others the way You love them, help me to hear the words before they come out of my mouth as You would want them to be spoken. Forever in your debt, always thankful of your ways!

Genesis 50:20 ~ my life verse!

Genesis 50:20 – You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.

When I found this scripture Jeremiah 29:11 had run its course and no longer numbed the hurt.

My life we will dive into some other time, but I will say this Genesis 50:20 & Jeremiah 29:11 are the biblical truth to my life. Every ounce of hurt His has used to heal another, and this makes it all worth it. Yes I said worth it.

Can you relate? Can I pray for you?

~God chose you, which means I choose you too!~ Love you!

~sometime I just gotta write~

Proverbs 10:19

Proverbs 10:19

“When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.”

Having just had a horrible argument with my husband, well he had the argument I kept my mouth shut, I am tempted to write about that. However when I go to write, I get what you would call “writers block” I call it Gods way of teaching me something I need to learn instead of trying to teach someone else. Love when this happens.

I want to break this scripture down into segments. “When words are many, sin is not absent” will be the first part I want to focus on.

I am completely guilty of this. I talk A LOT, when I am with someone I trust. I have very few people I actually trust to “speak” to about the millions of thoughts going through my head. No, I am not exaggerating either. I like many women have a non stop array of thoughts, only I like to think that I have an extra amount of thoughts, bc I think about how God wants to use me. Constantly I am evaluating and re-evaluating what it is that God has just shown me. How can He use me with what He has just shown me, can He use me, am I ready, do I need to wait, do I need to teach someone else……the thought process goes on and on.

So when there is someone who has the time to listen…man do they have a task set out for themselves. Have you ever seen that micro machine commercials where the guy talks extremely fast? That’s how I feel sometimes when my ADHD has kicked in and Gods over flowed my mind with so much. Half of the time I have so many different topics going on I forget why I even started the subject I was on. A friend of mine thinks it’s funny to get me going by asking a million different questions – I keep telling her it’s not nice to make fun of the mentally challenged.

How is this a sin though? The things that I speak of aren’t lies. God convicts me even if I think about telling a white lie. So how is this a sin? We’ll get back to that in a minute.

 I want to go into the next segment of the scripture. – but he who holds his tongue is wise”  All through out proverbs the writer describes the actions of a wise man/woman vs that of a man/woman who is foolish or folly. Here he says to hold his tongue, this seems obvious during a heated conversation.

How though can this be seen in an innocent conversation between two friends? Can it be used in a calm, even Godly conversation? Absolutely!! God wants us to go to Him for our counsel at all times. If we are not filled with His Spirit then anything that comes out of our mouths, whether we feel is righteous, is from the flesh. Not from the Spirit. So when you reply quickly to a friend that has a thought they seem to be stuck on, marriage or parenting issues you are going off of your opinion. Unless you quote scripture to them, which honestly even then it can be a little condemning if not prayed about first. This can be a very dangerous thing to do. Especially if this person respects your opinion, or is a new Christian.

We forget at times what worked for us in our marriages or as we guided our children through a similar situation, might not be what God wants them to gain through their experience. When we give advice on things we honestly know nothing about we are taking the place of the only one that truly knows what we should do. God.

What do we do then? Pray for and with them. If advice is offered then make sure you let them know this worked for you, but might not be what God wants them to do in their life. Also, when you do offer advice don’t be upset if they don’t take it. So many friendships are tainted when advice is given and not taken. We have to constantly remember that we are not walking in their lives, we are placed to walk beside them and in prayer we can help guide them to seek Gods wisdom for their lives.

Back to the answer on how am I sinning if I take up the entire time talking. I would hope that this sentence answered that for you. Being a conversation hog is not what God wants from us. He wants you to spend time together enjoying one another, sharing praise with each other, loving and growing in God together. He doesn’t want us to bog down our friendships with things they were never placed in your life to carry. That’s what He is for. God doesn’t need time to talk about what’s on His mind. Personally anytime I have ever heard from God it’s always been short and sweet and definitely to the point.

Finding time with a girlfriend is hard enough these days, why spend it complaining about the things going on in your life. This goes for the friend as well. If you know that your friend is going through something, ask if she’d like to talk about it, if not then go on to the next subject. If they do, my suggestion is pray together beforehand. This allows each of you time to bring your concerns to the Lord, you invite Him into your conversation. Praying can be an uneasy thing sometimes. Especially if you’ve never prayed together before. Think about it this way, if you can’t pray together then you do not need to be discussing these emotional situations together. Sorry to be so frank, but if you value your realtionship with God, and this friend then you should be able to unite the two in time of need.

As friends we want to be there for one another, we want to let them know we care. We can do that when we let them know we are praying for them. We can also do it by changing the subject, and not allowing that friend to wallow in the pit any longer than they need to. Our friendships are there to encourage one another, love one another, guide one another, and yes sometimes teach one another. However, we have to keep our hearts focused on what God wants from us in this relationship and every other relationship. When we keep our hearts aligned with God at all times, He will light our path and put the words in our mouth….or keep them shut.

Email a friend today and tell them how much you love them. Tell them why you love them and why you’re so thankful God has placed them in your life.

God chose You, which means I choose You! Love you!

Psalm 116:1-2

Psalm 116:1-2

“I love the LORD, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live.”

 Look at the second part of this truth, “Because he turned his ear to me” Me….the girl that was called a ‘wh*re’ according to the entire girls bathroom in 9th grade, the girl that tried to end her life more times than I’d like to admit, and almost succeeding. The girl that slept with more men & women, did more drugs, drank more alcohol then a person ever should. I had an affair with a married man, lied, cheated, murdered, used my body to manipulate men out of thousands of dollars for years, and Jesus Christ still turned His ear to me, then said “I love you and I forgive you, let me show you how you were meant to be loved.”

 If you think for one second that God will not forgive you bc of what you are doing at this very moment in time, please look over the list above and know this is only a snippet into the life He lifted me up out of. Those of you who are hurting bc of that man or woman, bc of those demons, bc of your pride, please know that if He could love me the way He does…and I promise I have done it ALL….He is just waiting for you to say “Lord, I’m sorry please help me” please email me if you would like me to pray for you or help you accept Jesus into your heart.

God chose You, which means I choose You! Love you!