“When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.”
Having just had a horrible argument with my husband, well he had the argument I kept my mouth shut, I am tempted to write about that. However when I go to write, I get what you would call “writers block” I call it Gods way of teaching me something I need to learn instead of trying to teach someone else. Love when this happens.
I want to break this scripture down into segments. “When words are many, sin is not absent” will be the first part I want to focus on.
I am completely guilty of this. I talk A LOT, when I am with someone I trust. I have very few people I actually trust to “speak” to about the millions of thoughts going through my head. No, I am not exaggerating either. I like many women have a non stop array of thoughts, only I like to think that I have an extra amount of thoughts, bc I think about how God wants to use me. Constantly I am evaluating and re-evaluating what it is that God has just shown me. How can He use me with what He has just shown me, can He use me, am I ready, do I need to wait, do I need to teach someone else……the thought process goes on and on.
So when there is someone who has the time to listen…man do they have a task set out for themselves. Have you ever seen that micro machine commercials where the guy talks extremely fast? That’s how I feel sometimes when my ADHD has kicked in and Gods over flowed my mind with so much. Half of the time I have so many different topics going on I forget why I even started the subject I was on. A friend of mine thinks it’s funny to get me going by asking a million different questions – I keep telling her it’s not nice to make fun of the mentally challenged.
How is this a sin though? The things that I speak of aren’t lies. God convicts me even if I think about telling a white lie. So how is this a sin? We’ll get back to that in a minute.
I want to go into the next segment of the scripture. – but he who holds his tongue is wise” All through out proverbs the writer describes the actions of a wise man/woman vs that of a man/woman who is foolish or folly. Here he says to hold his tongue, this seems obvious during a heated conversation.
How though can this be seen in an innocent conversation between two friends? Can it be used in a calm, even Godly conversation? Absolutely!! God wants us to go to Him for our counsel at all times. If we are not filled with His Spirit then anything that comes out of our mouths, whether we feel is righteous, is from the flesh. Not from the Spirit. So when you reply quickly to a friend that has a thought they seem to be stuck on, marriage or parenting issues you are going off of your opinion. Unless you quote scripture to them, which honestly even then it can be a little condemning if not prayed about first. This can be a very dangerous thing to do. Especially if this person respects your opinion, or is a new Christian.
We forget at times what worked for us in our marriages or as we guided our children through a similar situation, might not be what God wants them to gain through their experience. When we give advice on things we honestly know nothing about we are taking the place of the only one that truly knows what we should do. God.
What do we do then? Pray for and with them. If advice is offered then make sure you let them know this worked for you, but might not be what God wants them to do in their life. Also, when you do offer advice don’t be upset if they don’t take it. So many friendships are tainted when advice is given and not taken. We have to constantly remember that we are not walking in their lives, we are placed to walk beside them and in prayer we can help guide them to seek Gods wisdom for their lives.
Back to the answer on how am I sinning if I take up the entire time talking. I would hope that this sentence answered that for you. Being a conversation hog is not what God wants from us. He wants you to spend time together enjoying one another, sharing praise with each other, loving and growing in God together. He doesn’t want us to bog down our friendships with things they were never placed in your life to carry. That’s what He is for. God doesn’t need time to talk about what’s on His mind. Personally anytime I have ever heard from God it’s always been short and sweet and definitely to the point.
Finding time with a girlfriend is hard enough these days, why spend it complaining about the things going on in your life. This goes for the friend as well. If you know that your friend is going through something, ask if she’d like to talk about it, if not then go on to the next subject. If they do, my suggestion is pray together beforehand. This allows each of you time to bring your concerns to the Lord, you invite Him into your conversation. Praying can be an uneasy thing sometimes. Especially if you’ve never prayed together before. Think about it this way, if you can’t pray together then you do not need to be discussing these emotional situations together. Sorry to be so frank, but if you value your realtionship with God, and this friend then you should be able to unite the two in time of need.
As friends we want to be there for one another, we want to let them know we care. We can do that when we let them know we are praying for them. We can also do it by changing the subject, and not allowing that friend to wallow in the pit any longer than they need to. Our friendships are there to encourage one another, love one another, guide one another, and yes sometimes teach one another. However, we have to keep our hearts focused on what God wants from us in this relationship and every other relationship. When we keep our hearts aligned with God at all times, He will light our path and put the words in our mouth….or keep them shut.
Email a friend today and tell them how much you love them. Tell them why you love them and why you’re so thankful God has placed them in your life.
God chose You, which means I choose You! Love you!