Unedited confession, turned testimony….

Matthew 9:27-31 JESUS HEALS THE BLIND…

As Jesus went from there, two blind men followed him, calling out, “Have mercy on us Son of David!” When he had gone indoors, the blind men came to him, and he asked them, “Do you believe that I am able to do this?” “Yes, Lord,” they replied. Then He touched their eyes and said, “According to your faith will it be done to you”; and their sight was restored. Jesus warned them sternly, “See that no one knows about this.” But they went out and spread the news about him all over that region.

Jesus healed them and then gave them a command. They disobeyed this command, AND Jesus did NOT take back from them the healing that He gave them. Tonight as my eyes happened to read these words, my mind was enlightened with this truth. God allowed me to notice something that I hadn’t seen before.

Why? I’m sure there are many reasons that I am unaware of at this moment. What I can tell you is this was for me, as well as for you. Maybe not all of you, but someone reading these words also needs to know that once Jesus heals us, once we call on His Name and believe deep within our hearts that He IS Our Lord and Savior, we are His. Our salvation is secure by the Blood that He freely poured out on the Cross. Nothing can take away what Christ has given.

See this is something I have struggled with, and even still as I write this my mind, spirit, and soul have not all agreed. The enemy of my soul wants to snatch this from me and keep me blinded by lies. But I know that my accuser has been hurled down by the Blood AND the testimony of my words. I know this because Revelations 12:10,11 tell me so. Friends this is my testimony of Gods amazing Grace. His patient heart towards those of us who doubt like Thomas. Not because we refuse to believe, but because of what we have seen, learned, and lived.

All my life I have messed things up. So many people have walked away when they promised they’d never leave. Many have seen me at my worst, and decided that it just wasn’t worth sticking around. I have been promised one thing, yet received another. So believing that God will NEVER forsake me, no matter bad I mess up….well it’s a very hard pill to swallow on most days. There are times when His Presence is strong and leading me, and this truth I can proclaim with every status update on Facebook and every email I send.

But then there are those moments when a friend has something I desired and my heart twinges with jealousy. Or my thoughts, words, or actions are led by the person I thought had died. But what’s hardest to deny is when my heart is filled with so much fear and guilt because I know the truth, and yet still fall for the traps set before me. It’s THIS guilt that condemns me because of what Hebrews 10:26 says “If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left, (and again I am shown a truth that my heart was closed off to see, until just now. It isn’t here in verse 26, but it is within the same sentence.) 27) but only a fearful expectation of judgment and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God.”

Friends, I am not an enemy of God. This guilt that wreaked havoc within my mind and heart was lead by my desire to truly live a blameless and holy life. The deceiver that comes disguised as light has convinced me, and I’m sure others, that this guilt is truth and this text affirms that we are doomed. Only tonight the Spirit of Truth has revealed to me that I am NOT an enemy of GOD, and this anguish I feel when I have sinned against Him is a heart that is filled with sorrow, lead by the desire to please Him. Not one that is against God.

I am thankful that this has been revealed to and through me while writing. It is through His Blood AND our testimony that we have been set free from our accuser.

I pray that Gods Holy Spirit reveal His truth for YOU within this blog, confession, turned testimony. May we strive to live authentically whether online or face to face. Life in Christ is HARD…and impossible without His power leading. We NEED truth…even the truth that leaves us open for ridicule. May our lives not be loved so much that we fear what others might say when God has blessed us in some way.

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