I love the Lord , because He hears My voice and my supplications. Because He has inclined His ear to me, Therefore I shall call upon Him as long as I live.
Psalms 116:1-2 NASB
It was so easy for me to fall in love with God. He listens to me. He would answer my broken cries in ways that were so personal and direct that I couldn’t deny His Presence in my life.
As the youngest child, and the only girl. I lived an internal life growing up. No one quite understanding who I was or taking the time to hear what I had to say.
As a teenager I was an overly emotional kid. And this only grew my internal struggle. As a young wife and mother in a relationship that started on so many troubled levels. I always strived to be accepted and heard that I again lost my voice.
As I came to the Lord I knew deep down that I desired for my children and other women to be HEARD.
For me it’s the most painful scars I have. One that I guard fiercly.
Not being heard.
It provokes my flesh like no other within my current marriage.
Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.
Ephesians 6:11-12 NASB
Although my mind knows our battles are the devils schemes, and he is not a gentlemen and will use this pain as a weapon to destroy, it makes my ache no less painful.
My scars are REAL. My pain is REAL. And my battle needs to be real as well. By knowing how the devil is using my pain as a weapon helps to arm me with the TRUTH of this pain. Its my flesh. And my flesh will always be hostile towards God. So when the enemy can get me to focus on myself and my pain then he steals my joy. Like John 10:10 says He will.
So what do we do in times like this? Just act as if nothing’s happened? No. Denying it makes it grow. Face it. Make your spouse aware that they’re being used by the enemy to hurt you. Pray that your spouse begins to guard himself and his words by seeking God. Period. That’s how you defeat this enemy is by seeking God. Apologies are good, but if your anything like me your rather action be the apology as words can be empty when not followed up with action.
Then you get your heart into God’s hands and embrace the TRUTH that He listens to you and He loves you completely, as you are His bride.
For your husband is your Maker, Whose name is the Lord of hosts; And your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel, Who is called the God of all the earth.
Isaiah 54:5 NASB
After you’ve both allowed God to speak to your hearts then come together and let God guide your conversations. Always Seek God.