Am I closer than you?

“You’re so close to the Lord, and I could really use some prayers”

“I know you have it in good with God, and I could really use some prayers”

These are just a couple of the messages I get when others are in need of prayer.

I’m humbled and honored to pray for them, that I’m trusted and thought of when they’re in need.

But I’ve got to be honest this idea that I am some how heard more than they are worries me.

The idea that we believe God has favorites, is heart wrenching. In His eyes He sees perfection in all His children. None more than another.

So this morning I asked Him to give me understanding so I can share the Truth with others. And as always He answered.

“You believe me and believe what you hear”

See it’s not that some are closer to God than others, it’s just that some of us trust and believe HIM more. We know His voice therefore are able to discern when He is talking versus our flesh or the enemy.

Our closeness doesn’t come from favoritism it comes from deep trust. One of my most valued life verses is Luke 1:45 “Blessed is she who believes in the promises that the Lord has spoken to her” (paraphrase)

I thought of my children to help explain this truth more.

Kayla trusts in my word. She trusts in my rules and knows that I make them out of love and protection for her. So she doesn’t question me but obeys. I never doubt that she will always make decisions based on what she has been told and what she knows I expect of her. She is easier to speak to because of her Faith in me.

Tristan listens but also needs to be told repeatedly what I expect. He is a little less believing in my rules so is excited to be an adult to test his boundaries. (He is a lot like me at his age 🤷‍♀️) Although, he is obedient, he doesn’t know my voice (rules) as closely as Kayla does and has to be told and watched more closely. He is harder to speak to because of his questions and this requires me to find different ways to assure him of my love and protection.

I love neither of them more than the other, one is just easier to speak to because one believes me and my word more than the other.

I don’t have a closer seat to our Father than others. I just believe Him and His word more.

I know His voice and I trust when He speaks to me.

I challenge you to listen to what I’ve written. Understand that the SAME POWER that was given to JESUS CHRIST is given to US. God of the Universe desires to empower YOU from WITHIN. Jesus said we will do GREATER things than HIM. It’s time you begin to study who God says YOU ARE and what He has ALREADY GIVEN TO US.

This is how you gain freedom within your mind. This is how you gain trust in who you are.
This is how your life truly changes.

My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me; and I give eternal life to them, and they will never perish; and no one will snatch them out of My hand.

John 10:27‭-‬28 NASB

Live by Faith, makes life sweeter

Numbers have always been used by God to speak to me. There are several passages throughout the Bible that are specific numbers that have such specific meaning to my life. This is one of them.

Keep me as the apple of the eye; Hide me in the shadow of Your wings
Psalms 17:8 NASB

I heard someone speak and say “You are the apple of God’s eye, you’re HIS girl” and I thought ‘imagine if that were true’.

See I was never a daddy’s girl. My dad and I were a lot alike therefore we battled for control. So to be the apple of my Daddy’s eye was foriegn to me. God knew this….. and made sure I would believe this when it was spoken. Because when I googled it to find out where it was written the numbers 17:8 is my birthdate.

See those without faith see that as a coincidence. I know my God had His hand in making sure those were the exact numbers so when my untrusting heart heard those precious words I would absolutely believe that I am indeed the apple of Gods eye.

I pray today you begin to believe the messages He sends you. I pray you believe that you are so special to God that He would indeed make sure hundreds of years ago specific numbers would be placed exactly where He needed them to say “Yup that’s specifically for you”

Trust His love for you. It’ll change your life.

Christ in you?


Last night during study we were in John 12, where Mary anoints Jesus’s feet. Man was this a power house of a night. The night before we were in James 1, I only want to touch on one verse from that text because it goes so beautifully with what the Holy Spirit revealed last night.

            James 1:22 But prove yourselves doers of the word, and not merely hearers who delude themselves.

The word delude means to mislead the mind or judgment, to deceive. So James warns us not to deceive ourselves into thinking because we ‘hear’ the word that is all that is needed. Let’s jump back to John 12. What was revealed last night was the levels of faith and what these levels of faith displayed.

There are two areas where He displayed this. The first is in verses 2-3; we see Martha serving, Lazarus is listening, and Mary is doing. What is it she is doing? She is anointing Jesus for His burial, yet how did she know He would die? Because she listened and BELIEVED Him. Therefore we see her step into action. Remember when she was the listener at His feet while Martha slaved away preparing for the feast?

I wanted to jump over this but the Spirit keeps putting it before me, last night when I got home I noticed something else. In verse 4 after Mary broke open the nard and the fragrance filled the room Judas Iscariot began to rebuke her. While I read this I heard within my spirit the parable of the sower and the seed. How the enemy comes to snatch away that which was good. How many times have you been filled with the presence of the Spirit and doing what it is that the Lord has placed within your heart, and someone comes and tries to stomp out your fire? This is what is happening in this text. My encouragement to you is trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean NOT on your own understanding, or on the understanding of another. TRUST IN THE LORD. Let HIM be your teacher!

The next text that displays the different levels of faith and the way this is revealed through their actions is in verses 29-30. When a voice came out of heaven, we see some hear thunder, others say an Angel spoke, and Jesus heard the voice. When Moses went up to the mountain for 40 days the people, riddled with idols and disbelief heard terrifying thunder. This filter (of idols and disbelief) caused the fear within them to rule. The next group of people believed, yet gave credit to Angels speaking. Have you ever listened to the Spirit of God and spoke to a friend about what He told you to say and they are shocked that you were able to give them a Word that resonated so perfectly? I have this happen ALL the time. I’ve been told I am in touch with the supernatural, that I have perfect timing, that I have great intuition, so on and so on. When all of these things are great compliments, they’re not the true reason as to why I was able to deliver that message. Just like the voice that came from heaven was not from Angels. Jesus says in verse 30 “This voice has not come for My sake, but for your sakes.” Jesus knew who was speaking, just as I have known who spoke to me for this other person. It wasn’t for MY sake that He gave me a Word for them, but so that they would believe God in me.

Friends, in John 17 Jesus prayed for those of us who would believe in Him because of the message they (the disciples) would speak. He prayed that WE would be ONE with HIM AND THE FATHER. That we would be as Jesus was, One with the FATHER. Revelation 12:10 says that the accuser is cast down by the blood of the lamb (Jesus) AND the word of their testimony, and they did not love their life even when faced with death. Jesus tells us if we love our lives we will lose it, but if we lose our life we will live. In John 6:63 He says that HIS WORDS ARE SPIRIT AND LIFE.

When you speak are you speaking as man, or as God? Are you one with God? God is speaking through His children, but many of you refuse to see God in man. You SAY yes we are one with Christ, yet live as mere men. Believe as mere men. When God speaks, do you hear thunder, think it’s an Angel, or do you KNOW the Father’s voice? Do you get caught up in the flesh that God is using to speak to you, thinking that there is NO WAY SHE IS ONE WITH THE FATHER AS JESUS WAS. Do you even think that it is possible for man to live as one as the Father?

Friends, until we live the testimony as Christ in us no one will ever believe that Jesus’s prayer is answered.

Your husband is your Maker….


‘For your husband is your Maker, Whose name is the LORD of hosts; And your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel, Who is called the God of all the earth.” Isaiah 54:5

I’ve quoted this a lot these past few weeks. Especially when talking about the relationship between me and my husband. (pictured above)

There is a quote that one of my friends sent me years ago, before I ever fell in love with God. It says: “A woman must be so lost in God that any man must go through Him in order to find her.” This quote really changed me and my heart over the years. Today I send this same quote to my single girl friends, in hope they will see the TRUTH that lies within.

When Chadd an I were first married we were both on fire for the Lord. Then life began to snatch away the Word and put out our fire. I resented my husband and our relationship. As time went on God began to slowly reveal to me that I was in fact the problem, not Chadd. I put too much pressure on him, I expected too much from him as my husband and the father of my children. Eventually everything broke and I learned that my husband is in fact my Maker.

When I no longer put the expectation on Chadd to fill me, I was able to find fulfillment from the ONLY one capable of filling me, God. Then Chadd was able to add to the ‘overflow’ and I was able to love him exactly where he was. Which this caused him to become the man that I have yearned for all along.

This past weekend I realized just how much I truly love this man. He was away for a mens retreat and I missed him terribly. I also realized while he was away that I haven’t allowed myself to really love him. I’ve kept him at a distance, afraid that he would disappoint me. And last night when we were laying in bed, guess what happened….I felt disappointed. I became angry and hurt. What does this mean? Well it means that I didn’t get what I wanted. James 4:1,2 tell us that we quarrel because we do not get what we want. So when I begin to argue with my husband, Holy Spirit reminds me of this and I begin to allow Wisdom to bring me understanding. As Proverbs 8 describes Wisdom to be a woman, she is very gentle in the way she reminds me that I am not here to be served but to serve, and my husband in the flesh is not here to serve me but to serve others. We are a unit yes, but ultimately we are here to help bring the Kingdom of God here, not to fulfill our fleshly desires.

Ladies, I want to first pray for you. Ask that God pour out the Holy Spirit within your hearts and allow Wisdom and Understanding to come to you as it has me, gently and lovingly. God knows what we need and He does lavish us with love and affection, sometimes through a song, a friend, a book. But when the time comes He will lavish us with the fleshly love we desire. I believe it’s up to us to continue to seek God first and allow the love that others give us to be an overflow.

Remember, our Maker is our Husband.

Whose foundation are you building on?

Did you know that the stone Jasper mentioned in Revelations 21 is a RED colored stone? 21:11 says it’s ‘clear as crystal‘ (yup that totally caught my attention in 2008 when I opened the bible for the 1st time…ya I’m vain lol) then vs 18 ‘the wall is made of jasper, pure as gold, as pure as glass‘ (there I am again…well the meaning of my name lol) lastly and I find the most intriguing is found in verse 19: The foundations of the city walls were decorated with every kind of precious stone. The FIRST foundation was jasper….

Jesus is the FOUNDATION of our Eternal houses. His BLOOD is the Only way to even begin seeking a relationship with God. Understanding the depth of LOVE that He has for us, that He chose to be lowered from His royal position and became a man. Then this same man that gave it all up loved and taught us everything about the Father…and then we put Him on the Cross to die a horrific death. And as He hung there between two criminals; Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” Luke 23:34. And you know what….God promises that anything we ask of Him He will do…if we forgive others He will forgive us. Therefore, Jesus’ life and death was all for US, and we ARE FORGIVEN. PERIOD.

But woe to the one who keeps on sinning after they know the truth. Hebrews 10:26 warns those that there is nothing left to sacrifice for you, and all you have to look forward to is a fiery death. Harsh, I know….True though. Whether you want to believe it or not……if you want salvation….then it’s ALL of Gods Word or it’s NONE.

So I ask you….whose foundation are you building on? Because we all are.

He still loves….me

Sometimes I hate myself. I mean really hate myself. When I was a kid I used to cut myself and I didn’t care what scars I left on my body. Today as an adult this still manifests itself is in the things I tell myself.

The scary part for me is the way my thoughts can really take over and pour out into this world. I’m a mother so I have 4 children that will and are affected by my behavior. But specifically I have 2 children that have already lost a father to suicide, and when I get in these self-hatred states I do hope to die. I rationalies that Chadd would do a much better job at parenting, and his family have everything I ever wanted as a kid so they will be fine. God loves them more than I do, I’m just messing everything up anyway.

Earlier as I was going through these lies I hit my Facebook application and this is the picture I saw.



This hit an area that I was trying to destroy. SO naturally I shut my Facebook down and started to provoke an argument with my husband. Thankfully, he stood firm and prayed and told me I was being attacked…and I of course like a hurt person usually does responded with more hurtful things. This kind of sickness I have struggled with all of my life. I am a self-healer and a self-hurter. What has to stop is the way I allow this anger and self-destruction out on my husband. I sat on my bed and thought ok what do I read. My bible sat near me, but like anyone who is filled with this kind of evil they don’t want to read God’s Word. Personally I know that’s exactly what I have to do though. God’s Word is the ONLY WAY to destroy what lies are destroying our inner peace. But I have a real fear of opening God’s Word when I’m like this. I’m afraid I won’t be able to stop from speaking evil against what I read…and blasphemy the Spirit. SO I stay away from it…which isn’t good.

So I opened the next best thing the book that my mentor wrote “Perfect Love” She equips me with the tools I need. The only other author that has affected my heart this way has been Beth Moore. Both women write for Jesus. Both women write what they KNOW works because ONE it’s God’s Word, TWO they’ve personally experienced it, and THREE they are anointed to heal the broken hearted, to set the captives free, the Spirit of the Lord is upon these women. So here is the page I opened to and the order in which my God allowed my poisoned heart to read.

Chapter 9 pg 75 “Perfect Love Buys Us Back”

Did you know that you are a slave? We are all slaves to something. We are either a slave to sin if we have not yet received Jesus Christ as our personal savior, or we are slaves to righteousness, when we give our life to Jesus. As that moment because of Christ’s sacrifice, His blood covers our sin once and for all and He covers us with His righteousness. We are made right before the eyes of a perfect God, not because of anything that we did, only because of what Jesus did on the cross.

(page flipped to page 78 – my birth year that I happen to have a heart around in the book) So if you are a born again and you are still struggling with some old habits, or hang ups and not really understanding why, it is because you need to work to renew your mind daily in the truths in God’s Word to break those habits and strongholds for good.

Girlfriend, hear my heart here, you must never believe the lies that the enemy will tell you, lies like; “Oh, you must not even be saved or you wouldn’t think like this anymore” or “ if you were really saved, God would have delivered you from this by now” or “no other Christian thinks like this”. (pg79) You see, the enemy loves to get God’s children believing that they were not truly bought from sin and the devil’s grasp for good, and that they are still in the devil’s chains. It is simply not true! The truth is, the second that you make Jesus Lord, you belong to God and satan has no true control over you anymore. The only power that he has is what you freely give him. Sin does not have power over you; you just need to get your stubborn heart to line up with God’s Word and believe it!

This is when I turned on my laptop and began writing. This is how I live out Revelation 12:10,11. In order for me to hurl down my accuser I write and confess and become as transparent as I possibly can. Why? Well…because I receive life when I read another’s transparency through their current struggles, and I want another to see that although I am redeemed in Christ Jesus, I struggle daily with my sanity. I struggle daily with my tongue (or fingers), I struggle daily if I am truly saved. I am a real person with real problems wanting to reach as many real people as I can with a Real solution. Jesus.

If you love to read like I do, and want authentic biblical teaching then please go to and buy Mo Mydlo’s books. You won’t be disappointed.

Until next melt down…. just kidding.

Open for discussion….predestination….

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose. For those God foreknew He also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of His Son, the he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those He predestines, He also called; those He called; He also justified; those He justified, He also glorified.” – Romans 8:28-30

Predestined – To Destine in advance; foreordain; predetermine

Foreknew- To know BEFOREHAND

Justified – To show satisfactory reason or EXCUSE for something done. To qualify as bail or surety

Before we were ever born God already knew what our entire lives would entail. NOTHING happens that God is not aware of. There are NO Plan B’s with God. He is NOT a God of disorder, or a God that lies. We are already told about the end of this world. So if God is a God of ORDER and HE has already given us in print what the END will be like….WHY do we believe one moment under His Sun is unaccounted for?

If you are a Child of God then seek diligently to hear His voice. What I have come to know is that God speaks to each of us differently. He is a personal God, He knows things that stick out to us and hold meaning. For instance Numbers, Dates, Music & Birds are additional ways that God speaks to me. He uses His Word, or the Prophetic Word of another. He has spoken to me audibly, as well as instilling information supernaturally in my mind. He has also spoken to me through dreams and visions.

So when Jesus said “I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me” (John 10:14) I believe He is explaining that He knows how to speak to us in a way that we will know it is Him. If we truly believe He speaks to us.

Going back to those justified. This is such a hard topic to write on, especially after the recent events in Boston. This blog was started on April 6th after hearing about Rick Warren’s sons suicide. God had me in deep thought about Judas Iscariot and the role that he played in the redemption of mankind. I do believe that he was predestined to betray Jesus. I believe this because God knows ALL. There are NO Plan B’s to Gods story of redemption. He created Adam from the dust, yet Jesus was created from Spirit. Which of those two men sound like plan A? It may have been the second man, but not the second plan.

What does this mean? I’m not completely sure just yet. God hasn’t given me all the details as to why this is so important that I post it. All I know as of today is that my life has been written and every hair on my head is accounted for. Gods Written Word says this, and He also has given me revelation to affirm this. But I will admit this, even with the facts I previously listed, every day I still doubt. That’s why He also tells me and YOU that HIS GRACE is SUFFIECIENT!

Please feel free to discuss your thoughts on this topic…it’s a fresh one that I’m trusting God will blossom into something beautiful.

~sometimes I just gotta write~

When our guidlines become barriers…

 He replied, “Whether he is a sinner or not, I don’t know. One thing I do know. I was blind but now I see!” John 9:25NIV84

The Pharisees hated Jesus and several times accused Him of being demon possessed. Yet, the man that was born blind and healed on the Sabbath didn’t care what anyone told him, He KNEW who he was before Jesus and he KNEW who he was after Jesus. Jesus healed this man on the Sabbath and if you know anything about the Law of the Old Testament you would know that this was against the rules.

This makes me wonder about the laws or rules that we still carry around today within the church. Ones that we may not realize we live by, most likely because they bring us comfort. We need structure, a set of guidelines to live by so we know what’s permitted and what’s not. These guidelines are typically good, until they’re not. 

This morning I had a conversation with a friend about a woman pastor. My Spirit comes alive when I read this woman’s posts and I am learning to trust my Spirit over what the world says. So when I sent my friend some information about this woman having a free seminar and she replied that she had a bad feeling about her I was set back. Mainly because my friend and I have been Spiritually linked in a way that only God can understand. As she began to explain why she had an uneasy feeling about her I realized that it sounded like one of those “guidelines” that has been ingrained in us. “They call her Pastor, and I don’t agree with that” I asked “Because she’s a woman?” her reply “YES” I respect my friend, so I wanted to see what the definition of Pastor is before I replied, and this is what I found on “a person having spiritual care of a number of persons.” this was the second answer…this one made sense to me as to why people would call this woman Pastor. But it was the first answer that I believe my friend, among many others….including myself at times gets stuck on. It says: “a minister or priest in charge of a church.”

And we know that men are the ones who are in charge of a church….right? Well…depends on how you’re viewing this. From the worlds view…then yes that would be the typical response. BUT…what if we shifted views for a minute. JESUS is in charge of the “Church”. And JESUS lives in ME and I am a woman….so if JESUS instructed me to minister to HIS CHURCH of believers would I have to say NO because the WORLD said it wasn’t ok? We as Christians know that the Holy Spirit would not ask you to do anything that contradicts the Written Word of God, well the written Word says that ALL MEN AND WOMEN will prophesy and HIS SPIRIT will be poured out on us ALL.

So…I ask you this if a woman or child came to you with a message from God would you listen or turn them away? I pray you would listen. Discernment is a gift that God will give you if you ask Him to. Remember we are ALL Gods children, and each of us are a reflection of His Glory. Just as the blind man said….”Whether he is a sinner or not, I don’t know. ONE THING I DO KNOW. I WAS BLIND BUT NOW I SEE!”

Jesus broke all the typical rules that would display He was our King….let’s not put Him back in a box and miss the chance to see!



He answers…are you listening?

God answers prayers. This morning while praying for a friends sister who has bleeding in her head I could feel the pressure in my head. Then I asked my husband to join me in prayer and he also felt the pressure. My bible then flipped to Ezekial, the prophet that lived out what it was that God was wanting. This was my way of hearing God telling me that we will “feel” Him and to stay in tune with our bodies. The answer came just a short while ago. Psalm 107:19-21 brought through a devotional I am not apart of but followed the Spirits leading. As I began to write out this prayer with my name I then knew it wasn’t for ME, but for her sister. This is what it says: They {insert name} cried out tot he Lord in her trouble, and He saved them from distress. He sent out His word and Healed her: He rescued Her from the grave. Let them give thanks to the Lord for His unfailing Love and His wonderful deeds for mankind.

Open your eyes and Hearts to hear and see Him. Never underestimate the lengths God has already gone to so You would hear Him. Remember, He knew exactly where’d you’d be when you cried out o Him. Open the eyes of their hearts Lord.