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Simon, Simon, behold, Satan has demanded permission to sift you like wheat;  but I have prayed for you, that your faith may not fail; and you, when once you have turned again, strengthen your brothers.”

Luke 22:31‭-‬32 NASB

I was given this text days ago and wasn’t sure the message He wanted me to share behind it until just now. 

Last night I felt led to share some of the trials that my husband and I are currently (see here) in. As I was writing I knew this would bless others as well as honor God with what He’s doing in our lives. 

God is good. Always. He is working ALL things for GOOD, for those who love Him and are called for His purpose (paraphrase Romans 8:28). 

My marriage has absolutely been through a season of sifting and after reading about how they sifted wheat in the old days I couldn’t be more positive that this passage is genuinely what we’ve been going through. And if I am to be His Light and Shine His love to others lost in the darkness then I’ve got to get real when I’m knee deep in the muck and mire. 

Not in anger or pain but in gratitude that no matter what this flesh tries to bind me to my eyes and heart are always going to refocus and get back on my God. And because of that I TRUST in HIM and HIS promises. So I share. I share so others lost in the muck see that they too can find their hope in Christ, even though it seems they may have failed Him. 

Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven.

Matthew 5:16 NASB

If you are currently in the muck know that I have prayed for you to focus your eyes back on your Father. Focus your heart back on Him who Loves you. 

God is Good. Always. Trust Him. You have not been forsaken. 

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He listens to me 

​I love the Lord , because He hears My voice and my supplications. Because He has inclined His ear to me, Therefore I shall call upon Him as long as I live.

Psalms 116:1‭-‬2 NASB

It was so easy for me to fall in love with God. He listens to me. He would answer my broken cries in ways that were so personal and direct that I couldn’t deny His Presence in my life. 

As the youngest child, and the only girl. I lived an internal life growing up. No one quite understanding who I was or taking the time to hear what I had to say. 

As a teenager I was an overly emotional kid. And this only grew my internal struggle. As a young wife and mother in a relationship that started on so many troubled levels. I always strived to be accepted and heard that I again lost my voice. 

As I came to the Lord I knew deep down that I desired for my children and other women to be HEARD. 

For me it’s the most painful scars I have. One that I guard fiercly. 

Not being heard. 

It provokes my flesh like no other within my current marriage. 

Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.

Ephesians 6:11‭-‬12 NASB 

Although my mind knows our battles are the devils schemes, and he is not a gentlemen and will use this pain as a weapon to destroy, it makes my ache no less painful. 

My scars are REAL. My pain is REAL. And my battle needs to be real as well. By knowing how the devil is using my pain as a weapon helps to arm me with the TRUTH of this pain. Its my flesh. And my flesh will always be hostile towards God. So when the enemy can get me to focus on myself and my pain then he steals my joy. Like John 10:10 says He will. 

So what do we do in times like this? Just act as if nothing’s happened? No. Denying it makes it grow. Face it. Make your spouse aware that they’re being used by the enemy to hurt you. Pray that your spouse begins to guard himself and his words by seeking God. Period. That’s how you defeat this enemy is by seeking God. Apologies are good, but if your anything like me your rather action be the apology as words can be empty when not followed up with action. 

Then you get your heart into God’s hands and embrace the TRUTH that He listens to you and He loves you completely, as you are His bride. 

For your husband is your Maker, Whose name is the Lord of hosts; And your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel, Who is called the God of all the earth.

Isaiah 54:5 NASB

After you’ve both allowed God to speak to your hearts then come together and let God guide your conversations. Always Seek God.