Prayer for broken hearts

Heavenly Father,

I am praying for the women out there today that have brokeness in their hearts. Lord they’re doing everything they’ve been told to do, they go to church, they tithe, they read devotionals, they pray, and yet they’re still unable to be free from this pain inside of them. Father they need you. The traditions of men have let them down. Lord Jesus they need YOU to be their guide, they need you to show them where you are. Speak to those who you have chosen Lord Jesus, wake them up from the slumber they have fallen into. Guide those whose hearts are pure and truly desire YOU. You heal the brokenhearted; today Father, will you awaken all those who read this prayer? Will you guide them to your scriptures and give them eyes to see YOU clearly. Thank you Daddy for knowing me and showing me the Way Home! I love you and I praise you!

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Jesus is the cure

Do you have those days when you wake before your body says you’re ready? The dogs are going non stop, and the devil is right there just waiting to ruin the rest of your day? This morning as I cleaned up puppy pee for the 5th time within an hour I grumbled not so nice thoughts about this 8 week old puppy. Turned on my phone clicked on Facebook and read “Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation” then I read a post about addiction and how an addict struggles every day for the rest of their life. Talk about a sweet reminder from my Daddy about who I am and where I’ve come from.

I left a comment on the post and in not so many words said Jesus is the cure from addiction.

Do you believe that? That Jesus is the cure? That our grumbling can be cured? Scripture says to do everything without complaining, and I know that if there is a command to do something, I CAN do it with Christ. So He is the cure. But how is this even possible? Well when I took out my bible a card from my precious Kayla fell out and it has Philippians 4:8 on it “ Whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things.”

Our thoughts will manifest. We have to submit every thought to Christ. If it does NOT line up with Jesus Christ than WE must cast it down. That’s right folks, WE MUST CAST IT DOWN. God will give us the weapon of His word to do so but it must first begin with us desiring to cast it down.

Many times we get caught up in the “whining” that we just wallow in it. I know you know what I’m talking about. Man is that pit so easy to fall into….because it’s a hidden pit isn’t it? One that hides within our minds. One that no one else can even see to help guide us out. This is why it is SO vital that we have the word hidden within our hearts so that we won’t sin against the Lord.

Many people today are so addicted to sermons and devotionals that they don’t know the Word for themselves. They are unprepared for the war that they are in. They are always seeking for someone else to explain it to them. Friends, this has got to stop. YOU need to be the WISE virgin in the parable of the 10 virgins (see Matthew 25:1-13). We are told that NO temptation is too great for us, that God has prepared a way out. Then why do so many of us fall into temptation? Because we do not KNOW HIS WORD. We know mans words. Man interpretation of HIS Word. (ps. JESUS IS THE WORD…many of you do not know JESUS)

My challenge to you is still the same as it was before. FAST from ALL other teachings and stick to the Word and the Spirit to teach you. Stop leaning on the teachings of another….whether you realize this or not….you are addicted to the mixed wine being poured out. Seek truth. You have the mind of Christ if you are a new creation, believe Him and know He will give you all wisdom.

~sometimes I just gotta write~

Do you not know that YOU are the HOME of the Holy Spirit?

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One day in your temple is better than a thousand anywhere else. I would rather serve in your house, than live in the homes of the wicked. Psalms 84:10CEV*

*disclaimer: Please know I know the context of the Psalm 84:10; I just felt it important to share with you what I just heard from the Lord as I read it.

First, I’d like to remind us of what 1 Corinthians 6:19 says: Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; (NIV)

The Holy Spirit of God, which lived within Jesus as He walked our earth, now, lives inside of you and I. (if you are born again, See John 3 for explanation of what this means) This morning I read the above verse like this “One day in your temple, Crystal, is better than a thousand elsewhere.” It still hits me with a quickening from within, that causes my eyes to instantly tear reading it like that. Why? Because friends, I struggle daily believing that God, the living almighty Creator of Heaven and Earth would CHOOSE to live within ME! But see as quickly as I wanted to argue with what I heard within my spirit this morning, He, my Papa reminded me of the scripture that confirms that He IS talking to me, by using my earthly Dad’s birthday 6/19.

But being who I am, I couldn’t just hold onto this. I know that I have many many many lady friends on my Facebook page that need to know that GOD…..the Almighty Creator of Heaven and Earth LONGS….truly LONGS…DESIRES for YOU to KNOW deep within that HE LOVES LOVES LOVES YOU. When a man rejects you and you have that aching pain from within that cries out “why won’t they love me?” This is what Jesus feels when He sees you turn from the goodness He daily tries to give to you.

He doesn’t want us to feel this pain, this is why He became man and died for us. He took away that wrath, the pain, it’s all gone and accounted for. We just have to believe it. WANT it. And when I say believe it, I mean believe that we deserve the God quality of LOVE & LIFE.

Friends, this is being read my men also, and I want you to hear what I am saying also. Everything about YOU that you try to hide or mask because it seems to out of the norm….that is His unique fingerprint that He places within ONLY YOU. Please do not keep that from US. In Luke 19:11-27 & Matthew 25:14-30 Jesus talks about those who are given different amounts of talents/money. Those of us with the small amount believe that what we have isn’t worth much so we keep it hidden….and friends can I please tell you this breaks the heart of Jesus. He CHOSE us to rise up, and the small piece of Him that He has placed within us….if I may be so bold to say immolates the life that HE CHOSE here on earth.

He chose to be born to a common family, whom had to flee for their lives from the King of the Nation. GOD the CREATOR of the WORLD, chose to be a no-one, to save everyone. Please do not think, believe, or walk out in disbelief from what I am writing to you, what Jesus told me as I lay on the ground after being touched by the Holy Spirit.

He LOVES US so deeply, and LONGS for us to LOVE HIM the way that He loves us.

SO this morning as I read, ““One day in your temple, Crystal, is better than a thousand elsewhere.” I heard (hear) Him saying all over again “That’s MY girl” I pray that you will read this and add your name and allow His words penetrate your heart and KNOW truly how much He desires to have an intimate relationship with you.

And if you haven’t been baptized in the name of Jesus Christ, and think this isn’t for you, I want you to read this:

The Spirit gives life; the flesh counts for nothing. The words I have spoken to you are Spirit and they are life. Yet there are some of you who do not believe. This is I tell you that NO ONE CAN COME TO ME UNLESS THE FATHER HAS ENABLED THEM. (John 6:63,64a,65 emphasis and paraphrase mine [yet remember who lives within me])

Your physical actions do not keep the Fathers love and desire for you to be in Union with Him away. He IS calling YOU RIGHT NOW. And will continue to call you each and everyday, all day. Come to Him… Cry out to Him right now. Ask Jesus for the Life He designed for you…and invite the Holy Spirit into your body, temple, life. Praying for you now!

“If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you WILL be saved. It is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved.” Romans 10:9,10

He still loves….me

Sometimes I hate myself. I mean really hate myself. When I was a kid I used to cut myself and I didn’t care what scars I left on my body. Today as an adult this still manifests itself is in the things I tell myself.

The scary part for me is the way my thoughts can really take over and pour out into this world. I’m a mother so I have 4 children that will and are affected by my behavior. But specifically I have 2 children that have already lost a father to suicide, and when I get in these self-hatred states I do hope to die. I rationalies that Chadd would do a much better job at parenting, and his family have everything I ever wanted as a kid so they will be fine. God loves them more than I do, I’m just messing everything up anyway.

Earlier as I was going through these lies I hit my Facebook application and this is the picture I saw.

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This hit an area that I was trying to destroy. SO naturally I shut my Facebook down and started to provoke an argument with my husband. Thankfully, he stood firm and prayed and told me I was being attacked…and I of course like a hurt person usually does responded with more hurtful things. This kind of sickness I have struggled with all of my life. I am a self-healer and a self-hurter. What has to stop is the way I allow this anger and self-destruction out on my husband. I sat on my bed and thought ok what do I read. My bible sat near me, but like anyone who is filled with this kind of evil they don’t want to read God’s Word. Personally I know that’s exactly what I have to do though. God’s Word is the ONLY WAY to destroy what lies are destroying our inner peace. But I have a real fear of opening God’s Word when I’m like this. I’m afraid I won’t be able to stop from speaking evil against what I read…and blasphemy the Spirit. SO I stay away from it…which isn’t good.

So I opened the next best thing the book that my mentor wrote “Perfect Love” She equips me with the tools I need. The only other author that has affected my heart this way has been Beth Moore. Both women write for Jesus. Both women write what they KNOW works because ONE it’s God’s Word, TWO they’ve personally experienced it, and THREE they are anointed to heal the broken hearted, to set the captives free, the Spirit of the Lord is upon these women. So here is the page I opened to and the order in which my God allowed my poisoned heart to read.

Chapter 9 pg 75 “Perfect Love Buys Us Back”

Did you know that you are a slave? We are all slaves to something. We are either a slave to sin if we have not yet received Jesus Christ as our personal savior, or we are slaves to righteousness, when we give our life to Jesus. As that moment because of Christ’s sacrifice, His blood covers our sin once and for all and He covers us with His righteousness. We are made right before the eyes of a perfect God, not because of anything that we did, only because of what Jesus did on the cross.

(page flipped to page 78 – my birth year that I happen to have a heart around in the book) So if you are a born again and you are still struggling with some old habits, or hang ups and not really understanding why, it is because you need to work to renew your mind daily in the truths in God’s Word to break those habits and strongholds for good.

Girlfriend, hear my heart here, you must never believe the lies that the enemy will tell you, lies like; “Oh, you must not even be saved or you wouldn’t think like this anymore” or “ if you were really saved, God would have delivered you from this by now” or “no other Christian thinks like this”. (pg79) You see, the enemy loves to get God’s children believing that they were not truly bought from sin and the devil’s grasp for good, and that they are still in the devil’s chains. It is simply not true! The truth is, the second that you make Jesus Lord, you belong to God and satan has no true control over you anymore. The only power that he has is what you freely give him. Sin does not have power over you; you just need to get your stubborn heart to line up with God’s Word and believe it!

This is when I turned on my laptop and began writing. This is how I live out Revelation 12:10,11. In order for me to hurl down my accuser I write and confess and become as transparent as I possibly can. Why? Well…because I receive life when I read another’s transparency through their current struggles, and I want another to see that although I am redeemed in Christ Jesus, I struggle daily with my sanity. I struggle daily with my tongue (or fingers), I struggle daily if I am truly saved. I am a real person with real problems wanting to reach as many real people as I can with a Real solution. Jesus.

If you love to read like I do, and want authentic biblical teaching then please go to www.unforsakenministries.com and buy Mo Mydlo’s books. You won’t be disappointed.

Until next melt down…. just kidding.

Healing in hindsight

Gifted for Leadership: Be Still, Ailing Minister, Part 2

http://www.giftedforleadership.com/2013/05/be_still_ailing_minister_part_1.html

“About a year ago you were here.” She pointed to the page. “Now you are here, and you need to stay there as long as necessary. There’s no telling how long it will be, but you’ll know when it’s time to emerge. If you try to break free before you’re ready, truly ready, you’ll do more harm than good, and you’ll end up right back where you were at the point of your burnout.”

I could cry reading this one. See God has been working on me for years, even before I ever stepped foot into church. But when I finally did and allowed Him access to ALL of me, He began revealing areas that needed healing. And I knew these would. But then He touched areas that I had either never even knew existed or thought were conquered. Then to really shake things up He made sure when Matt died I had no one but Him to lean on. This was the hardest, yet most important part of my life thus far. Here’s the thing though, He kept me isolated and I knew in my heart, soul, and mind that I needed to be. Too many open wounds and emotional scars exposed to properly function. But this is frowned upon like the first article points out. So I went to church and tried to socialize on good days. Tried to volunteer bc my heart desperately wanted to please God and give back. BUT this caused me to put on a temporary bandage in order to make it through, only to have to yanked off and my husband or children suffer the wrath of all that was exposed.

As I read this, I could get bitter and keep score of how I had poor guidance. But what’s done is done. And they couldn’t have known the depths that God was going within my heart and mind. No, I will do what the Lord has ALWAYS done in my life. I will store this moment within my mind and emotions and ask Him to make sure I remember all of it, so I can be empathetic to the one He brings along my path in the future.

Friends, we are called to be the LIGHT of Christ in the world. Someone needs to walk in the darkness and keep stepping forward towards the glimmer of LIGHT we see up ahead. When we do this, and are transparent we leave a trail that Shines brighter than we imagine.

~sometimes I just gotta write~

Pure Healing…..begins

I’ve had so much happen in the last three months…It’s hard to believe really when I try to think about just how much God has been releasing into my life. Or should I say releasing from my life.

I don’t remember off hand when God revealed to me what He would be healing this season, I do know it was before the beginning of the year. But I do remember how I felt when it became clear. Coming off of a Spiritual victory…aka Spiritual High I embraced it. Even though I knew digging this deep into my soul would be painful, but trusting wholeheartedly in His deliverance. It was a surreal feeling. One that I want to continue to walk in.

As I write this and let my mind go back to those feelings, I wonder if that is why He’s poured out so many blessings on me in such a short amount of time. Hmm…imagine that…Trust and Obedience can accelerate my prayers from 2-3 years to 2-3 months. I can dig that for sure!

I should probably get to the “details” of this painful healing hugh? Ok…here goes nothing.

For as far back as I can remember I have always been sexually “active” I guess you could say. My earliest memory is when I was 5…I was caught behind the bushes with my “boyfriend” Richie…playing “show me and I’ll show you”. It only progressed as I got older, and I honestly cannot tell you how this even began. All I know is that I do not remember ever being Pure…and this has caused severe damage. Although I am a new Creation, and ALL my sins have been washed by the Blood of Jesus Christ, I am completely forgiven for every last one….God has not fully delivered me from these scars. YET!  

Before Matt had passed God was revealing to me that I had to seek out Gods reasoning for purity…how else would I be able to teach this to my children…or restore this within me? God being the Good Parent that He is put everything on hold until I had regained His Strength to press on.

Slowly he allowed thoughts and insecurities to come back to mind while being with my husband. As I write this I know that it would be more common for me to write that the enemy attacked me with these thoughts. But see I understand that NOTHING occurs to Gods children without His consent. Which means if it’s happening then He knows about it; and has planned GOOD to come out of it. SO I choose to focus on His part in all of this, and refuse to give the enemy any more ground in this area of my life. He’s had 30 years of my life to try and destroy me…and what he meant for harm, God planned for GOOD, for the saving of many lives.(see  Genesis 50:20)

And that’s my hope as I begin to unravel what God has done so far, as well as what He is currently doing. This is the most personal part of my carnal life…it’s the most painful and humiliating. As well as the most common among women and young girls today. Which is why I am praying that Gods power sustain me and my mind while I share with you as He walks me and my husband through the fire of Pure Healing.

“Now have come the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God, and the authority of his Christ. For the accuser of our brothers, who accuses them before our God day and night, has been hurled down. They overcame him by the BLOOD of the LAMB and by the word of their TESTIMONY; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death. Therefore rejoice, you heavens and you who dwell in them! Revelation 12:10-12a

I’m not sure where God will begin this just yet. I just know that He’s been calling me all day to choose between helping His children the Way He designed me, or to keep trying to do things my way. I teach through experience….and by being as transparent as I possibly can. This is my show of obedience…and trust.

Please pray for my husband and I. I want to claim this scripture as another one for our lives They overcame him by the BLOOD of the LAMB and by the word of their TESTIMONY; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death.

Thank you!