Her sins are many…

It is a trustworthy statement, deserving full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, among whom I am foremost of all.

1 Timothy 1:15 NASB

Have you ever looked at an old picture of yourself and thought “WOW, if only people knew just how lost I was behind that smile?” 

This is my current Facebook profile picture. It came up on my ‘memories’ and I thought how appropriate for the frame they have saying “Saved by His Amazing Grace” so I posted it. 

I can’t stop looking at it with such gratitude. Knowing that in that moment I was an alcoholic stripper, having an emotional online affair with a married man, and had no idea who Jesus was. 

For this reason I say to you, her sins, which are many, have been forgiven, for she loved much; but he who is forgiven little, loves little.”

Luke 7:47 NASB

Today, 12 years later I sing His praises and rejoice at the life He redeemed me from. 

He brought me up out of the pit of destruction, out of the miry clay, And He set my feet upon a rock making my footsteps firm. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God; Many will see and fear And will trust in the Lord .

Psalms 40:2‭-‬3 NASB

I don’t hide my past from others. I hope to never forget how far I’ve fallen. I desire to stay empathetic to those who are broken and lost in darkness. To show them that He is a Good God and desires that we ALL be saved through the blood of Jesus Christ. 

I, even I, am the one who wipes out your transgressions for My own sake, And I will not remember your sins.

Isaiah 43:25 NASB

Moreover, I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; and I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. I will put My Spirit within you and cause you to walk in My statutes, and you will be careful to observe My ordinances. You will live in the land that I gave to your forefathers; so you will be My people, and I will be your God. Moreover, I will save you from all your uncleanness; and I will call for the grain and multiply it, and I will not bring a famine on you.

Ezekiel 36:26‭-‬29 NASB

Then He said to her, “Your sins have been forgiven.”  And He said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.”

Luke 7:48‭, ‬50 NASB

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Be free from sin!

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Jesus took ALL our sins to the cross, Colossians 2:13,14. Once we come to Him and are baptized into His death, and His life, we need not ask for forgiveness everyday. We’ve already BEEN renewed. Sin is put to death, 1John 3:9. If there is still flesh fighting then we need to seek to put the deeds of the body to death, Romans 8:13. But to keep asking for forgiveness is to say what Jesus did wasn’t enough for all of our sins, Hebrews 10:29. We are NEW. Free from sin, if Jesus Christ does in deed live IN you.

Colossians 2:13-14 NASB

When you were dead in your transgressions and the uncircumcision of your flesh, He made you alive together with Him, having forgiven us all our transgressions, having canceled out the certificate of debt consisting of decrees against us, which was hostile to us; and He has taken it out of the way, having nailed it to the cross.

1 John 3:9 NASB

No one who is born of God practices sin, because His seed abides in him; and he cannot sin, because he is born of God.

Romans 8:12-13 NASB

So then, brethren, we are under obligation, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh- for if you are living according to the flesh, you must die; but if by the Spirit you are putting to death the deeds of the body, you will live.

Hebrews 10:29 NASB

How much severer punishment do you think he will deserve who has trampled under foot the Son of God, and has regarded as unclean the blood of the covenant by which he was sanctified, and has insulted the Spirit of grace?

I believed; even when I said, “I am greatly afflicted.”

I love Jesus, for He heard my voice, He heard my cry for mercy. Because He turned His ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live. The cords of death entangled me, the anguish of the grave came upon me; I was overcome by trouble sorrow. Then I called on the name of Jesus; “O Jesus, save me!” Jesus is gracious and righteous; our God is full of compassion. Jesus protects the simplehearted; when I was in great need, He saved me.

 

Be at rest once more, O my soul, for Jesus has been good to you.

For you, Jesus, have delivered  my soul from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling, that I may walk before Jesus in the land of the living.

I believed; even when I said, “I am greatly afflicted.”

~ Psalm 116:1-10

Unedited confession, turned testimony….

Matthew 9:27-31 JESUS HEALS THE BLIND…

As Jesus went from there, two blind men followed him, calling out, “Have mercy on us Son of David!” When he had gone indoors, the blind men came to him, and he asked them, “Do you believe that I am able to do this?” “Yes, Lord,” they replied. Then He touched their eyes and said, “According to your faith will it be done to you”; and their sight was restored. Jesus warned them sternly, “See that no one knows about this.” But they went out and spread the news about him all over that region.

Jesus healed them and then gave them a command. They disobeyed this command, AND Jesus did NOT take back from them the healing that He gave them. Tonight as my eyes happened to read these words, my mind was enlightened with this truth. God allowed me to notice something that I hadn’t seen before.

Why? I’m sure there are many reasons that I am unaware of at this moment. What I can tell you is this was for me, as well as for you. Maybe not all of you, but someone reading these words also needs to know that once Jesus heals us, once we call on His Name and believe deep within our hearts that He IS Our Lord and Savior, we are His. Our salvation is secure by the Blood that He freely poured out on the Cross. Nothing can take away what Christ has given.

See this is something I have struggled with, and even still as I write this my mind, spirit, and soul have not all agreed. The enemy of my soul wants to snatch this from me and keep me blinded by lies. But I know that my accuser has been hurled down by the Blood AND the testimony of my words. I know this because Revelations 12:10,11 tell me so. Friends this is my testimony of Gods amazing Grace. His patient heart towards those of us who doubt like Thomas. Not because we refuse to believe, but because of what we have seen, learned, and lived.

All my life I have messed things up. So many people have walked away when they promised they’d never leave. Many have seen me at my worst, and decided that it just wasn’t worth sticking around. I have been promised one thing, yet received another. So believing that God will NEVER forsake me, no matter bad I mess up….well it’s a very hard pill to swallow on most days. There are times when His Presence is strong and leading me, and this truth I can proclaim with every status update on Facebook and every email I send.

But then there are those moments when a friend has something I desired and my heart twinges with jealousy. Or my thoughts, words, or actions are led by the person I thought had died. But what’s hardest to deny is when my heart is filled with so much fear and guilt because I know the truth, and yet still fall for the traps set before me. It’s THIS guilt that condemns me because of what Hebrews 10:26 says “If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left, (and again I am shown a truth that my heart was closed off to see, until just now. It isn’t here in verse 26, but it is within the same sentence.) 27) but only a fearful expectation of judgment and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God.”

Friends, I am not an enemy of God. This guilt that wreaked havoc within my mind and heart was lead by my desire to truly live a blameless and holy life. The deceiver that comes disguised as light has convinced me, and I’m sure others, that this guilt is truth and this text affirms that we are doomed. Only tonight the Spirit of Truth has revealed to me that I am NOT an enemy of GOD, and this anguish I feel when I have sinned against Him is a heart that is filled with sorrow, lead by the desire to please Him. Not one that is against God.

I am thankful that this has been revealed to and through me while writing. It is through His Blood AND our testimony that we have been set free from our accuser.

I pray that Gods Holy Spirit reveal His truth for YOU within this blog, confession, turned testimony. May we strive to live authentically whether online or face to face. Life in Christ is HARD…and impossible without His power leading. We NEED truth…even the truth that leaves us open for ridicule. May our lives not be loved so much that we fear what others might say when God has blessed us in some way.